“TIPP” for your nervous system

I meet a lot of ambitious, smart women who are ready to address their mental and emotional wellbeing. Generally speaking, they’re on board with concepts like affirmations and positive self-talk. They can even grasp the significance of intentionally replacing an anxiety inducing thought with a more adaptive, neutral statement. All these are good strategies that take intentional, consistent practice. I’m not here to knock those any any way.

And.

Sometimes your body is like, “YEAH RIGHT! I’m not grateful for a single thing. In fact, I hate everything. And I have good reason, too! Danger is everywhere!” I mean, it’s pretty tough to positive mantra or gratitude journal your way out of a panic attack. Truly.

So what can we do?

First off, let me just say—this is a common, valid struggle. You can understand the rationale of an adaptive thought and feel wildly unregulated in your body. Even balanced, well-articulated thoughts can feel irrelevant to a body that is in fight or flight. Kind of like when your boyfriend has the best of intentions when encouraging you to calm down. Even though, yes, that is the ultimate goal—it lands like invalidation and provokes a desire to break stuff. (Note: do not break him.)

What I’m introducing here is a coping strategy you can use to soothe your nervous system and help you feel safer in your body. It’s not going to heal any core issues. It’s not going to erase your emotions. It’s not going to suddenly simplify a complex scenario. What it can do, though, is help your body to feel calm enough to think clearly and pursue other strategies as needed. Basically, TIPP helps you interrupt an emotional spiral.

Temperature

When we’re wanting to interrupt increasing emotional intensity, exposing your body to something cold is a great way to do it. We’re not looking for something painful or overly shocking here. You want just enough of a disruption for your brain to go, “Wait a second, what the heck is that?” It’s a simple and effective strategy to think about something else (coldness), and it helps the body calm down.

-Splash cold water on your face

-Get a drink of ice water

-Go outside in the wintertime

-Put an icepack on your neck

Intense movement

If you’re in the middle of or building up to some intense emotion, it can be incredibly useful to allow your body the chance to burn that cortisol and adrenaline. One of the very best ways to do that is by moving your body with intensity. (This is why you sometimes feel the urge to break stuff or scream. It’s your body’s way of working through the rage, anxiety, etc. rather than ignoring it.) If you’re someone who loves and has time to do a full blown workout, absolutely do it. Take the time to challenge yourself and build up a sweat. It’s great for your overall wellbeing and can help you through moments of intense emotion. It doesn’t have to be a formal, prolonged exercise routine for intense movement to be effective, though.

-Press your hands firmly against a wall

-Go up and down a flight of stairs

-Do wall sits, pushups, or jumping jacks

-Walk around your building or go get the mail

Paced breathing

There’s a ton of research backing the effectiveness of breathing strategies on emotional regulation. It’s common for people to feel intense emotion and shorten their breath in response. It’s a natural part of fight or flight. Since you’re not actually working to protect your life, we’re working to interrupt that cycle. If you’re practiced in this and have go-to strategies already, use those. If you’re new to this concept, here are some simple places to start.

-Take a deep breath

-Extend your exhale

-Box breathing

-Belly breathing

Progressive muscle relaxation

Take a minute to walk through this exercise. You can do it lying down or sitting comfortably in a chair. You’re going to go from one muscle group to the next and follow this pattern: hold tension, notice the sensation, release tension, notice the difference. You might start with your toes and work all the way up to your face. (Yes, I said face. You might be surprised how much tension those facial muscles hold.) The order of muscle groups isn’t super important. If you have time and space, do try to get every muscle—feet, calves, upper legs, glutes, stomach, back, shoulders, arms, hands, face. Sometimes you may not have time or be in an appropriate setting to complete a full-body version, and that’s okay. In that case, you might do this exercise with one muscle group (say, slowly making and releasing a fist) or another body part that subtle enough for the situation.

Remember: TIPP isn’t going to fix anything, really. TIPP has potential to help your body calm down. Once you’re in a calm body, you’re better equipped to think critically, communicate your needs, and begin making changes that support your overall wellbeing.

Take a breath. Give TIPP a try.